SEASON 2001-2002

On staying at Loftus Road
“This is our cave, and I like living in it.”

On axing players from the squad
"When the water stands still in the pond, it starts to stink.”

On helping Doudou’s homesickness
"What we've all got to do is pick him up, slap him around and make him feel welcome."

On Danny Shittu
"He's the quickest thing we've got, and an absolute animal.”

On this season
"I don't want to be patient - I want promotion this season”

On Ollyisms!
“I got them from my father who had more sayings than you can hang your hat on!” (Thanks to A1)

On QPR’s days in the Premiership
“If the club was a chocolate bar, it would have licked itself”

On the state of the club at present.
"The club isn't on solid ground - it's like I'm on a block of ice. I don't know whether I'm going to go through it, or slide off." (Thanks to CoastalHoop)

On the clubs potential
"I call us the Orange club - because our future's bright!"

On QPR generally
"This is the peoples club and everybody can have a piece of that pie - a pie that's already smelling beautifully"

On Jerome Thomas
"I call him ronseal, he does exactly what it says on the tin. He's an out and out winger." (Thanks to QPRMatt)

On The Clubs financial position
'It's like the film Men in Black. I walk around in a black suit, white shirt and black tie where I've had to flash my white light every now and again to erase some memories, but I feel we've got hold of the galaxy now......it's in our hands.'' (Thanks to Neasden Hoop)

On finally coming out of administration
"As a club, we are out of hospital now and we are looking forward to the convalescence and being fighting fit for the future"

SEASON 2002-2003

On the dodgy linesman away at Bristol City:
“It was lucky that the linesman wasn't stood in front of me as I would have poked him with a stick to make sure he was awake!” (Thanks to CoastalHoop)

On the teams attitude this season
"We've got to be solid and horrible to break down, I don't want to be southern softies!" (Thanks to CoastalHoop)

On players being sold while the club was in administration
"When we seemed to be dying, we were a carcass and the vultures came and fed off our bones"

On playing Richard Langley in a central role
"I know everyone screams that he should play in the middle and I'm no nugget! I know what job he can do there"

On QPR's resilient attitude of late
"We're no longer the flitty farty QPR"

On the effect Sky TV camera's would have on our players
"Well a few of them have had their hair done".

On how he feels after beating Bristol City twice
"I'm like a swan. I look fine on top of the water but under the water my little legs are going mad"

On whether we can still get automatic promotion
'I used to keep parakeets and I never counted every egg thinking I would get all eight birds - you just hoped they came out of the nest box looking all right.'

On playing defensive players in midfield
"It’s all very well having a great pianist playing but it’s no good if you haven’t got anyone to get the piano on the stage in the first place, otherwise the pianist would be standing there with no bloody piano to play!"

On the good fortune the club has enjoyed of late
"It's as if we've picked up the Titanic from the bottom of the ocean, turned it round and pointed it in the right direction".

After the play off final defeat
"Its one of my proudest days in football, but I've caught the bouquet again, I'm always the bridesmaid" (thanks to Clanc)

SEASON 2003-2004

After the Barnsley win
"My day didn't start very well... the Holloway household was very sad this morning, we had to have our dog put down unfortunately but that's life. I've just said to the lads, you're born and you die on a date, you've got to work on the dash in the middle"
(thanks to Clive Seymour)

On the denied penalty at Grimsby
"Everyone was laughing because if that was not a penalty then what was? I think my wife even saw that and she's down in St Albans listening to the radio!"
(thanks to Colin Gibson)

After the 4-1 win at Hartlepool
"I've had a week from hell, I'm trying to learn how to relax. I'm now going to enjoy this, take my brain out and stick it in an ice bucket."

On Danny Shittu's operation
"The doctor grafted a bit of Danny's hamstring onto his knee, but that wont be a problem for him, he's got more hamstring than the rest of the squad put together." (thanks to George)

When asked if Thorpe's chance at Bristol City had gone in....
"If is a big word, if I had long hair I could be a rock star"

On the promotion run in
"The fat lady might be picking the mic up but I can't hear her signing yet"

On what the club has achieved this season
"We've picked the ship up off the bottom of the ocean, plugged a few leaks and we're floating on the top. Now we want to turn around and sail off into the sunset"

On big man Georges Santos
"He's a big lad, he can clean out your guttering without standing on a ladder"

When asked how much he earned as a player, compared to Rooney
"Not enough to go to brothels"

On QPR's bad start to the season
"In football, there is no definite lifespan or time span for a manager. After a while you start smelling of fish. The other week it looked like I was stinking of Halibut!" (thanks to Pipes)

On being in the top ten
"Who would have thought a few weeks ago that we would be sitting in this position now? It's like the song, 'wait a minute, it stopped hailing, guys are swimming, gals are sailing.' I love that song"

On building for the future
"We're not instant coffee here, this is long term and I want to help lift our brand even higher"

On the current squads looks!
"My lot are the ugliest team ever to have worn the blue and white hoops - we certainly don't sell many calendars! In my playing days we had some right good looking bastards. But this lot are the worst I have ever seen! They all look like dogs"

On the reporter who asked Danny Shittu if he'd like to play for a Premiership club
"Whoever that was, I'd like to pull his pants down and slap him on the arse like I used to do to my kids. Apparently I'm not even allowed to do that any more otherwise I'll have the health and safety on to me giving it the old 'hello'."

On moving into the new training ground
"I feel like Charlie from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and I've won a golden ticket. I guess that makes Bill and Gianni the Willy Wonka of the set-up"

On leaving Twyford Avenue
"We no longer have to share with big rugby players, I was so excited driving in this morning I almost cried."

On Footballers being like cars
“Paul Furlong is my vintage Rolls Royce and he cost me nothing. We polish him, look after him, and I have him fine tuned by my mechanics. We take good care of him because we have to drive him every day, not just save him for weddings.”
(thanks to Norman Monkey)

On managers being like car dealers
“The problem is if someone likes the motor your driving and they're from a big club they can just come in and nick yer keys. There's nothing you can do as they drive off in your prized possession.”
(thanks to Norman Monkey)

On Marc Nygaard
“My wife said he was a fine looking fellow of a man. I might have to get a QPR shirt with his name on it to wear to bed to make sure my she still gives me some attention.”
(thanks to Norman Monkey) 

On our style of play
"People say, we've got to play the beautiful game at QPR, well, the beautiful game is winning and sometimes you have to be 6ft 5in and head the bloody thing out of your box."

On Jose Mourinho
”Look at the prickly little fella down the road at Chelsea. He wants to win everything and we can learn from that. If there were two flies crawling up the wall he'd be desperate to back the winner”

One letting Pete Doherty train with the R’s
”Anybody who is a QPR fan is welcome at Loftus Road. I'd be happy for him to turn up for a kickabout, just so long as he brings that Kate Moss with him - she's absolutely lovely.”

On being thwarted in the transfer market
"I've tried to bring in players on loan but I just get custard pies in my face. I'm sick of the taste of custard."

After beating Cardiff 1-0 at Loftus Road
"I couldn't be more chuffed if I were a badger at the start of the mating season."