The team that Olly chose to start the game against SA Portmany XI was a mixture of youth, experience and debutants. Royce lined up in goal behind a back four of Shimmin, Shittu, a trialist centre half and Hislop. The midfield four were Rowlands, Bircham, Doherty and Cook. Sturridge and Furlong were teamed up in attack.

From the off it was plain to see that the opposition were pitiful. In fact that might be to good a description of them. The pitch wasn’t much better either, an Astroturf affair that turned even the most routine of short passes into an effort that Barnes Wallace would have been proud of. And then we have the ref, although I will save my fair-minded critique of his display for later as I don’t want to drag myself into a depressed malaise this early in the season!

Although the opening few minutes were fairly even it only ever seemed a matter of time before we scored and when we did it was a calamity from the first of SA Portmany’s three appalling keepers. With defending straight out of the Gerry Cottle’s coaching manual the keeper came hairing off his line and then hairing straight into his defenders and the ball trundled out of the side. Rowlands was on hand and he calmly slotted home from an acute angle.

Two minutes later and it was 2-0 when Furlong controlled neatly on the edge of the area and fired a low right footer across the keeper and into the bottom corner. All the while this game was starting to get a little tempestuous. The referee had already decided to ignore all fouls committed on Rangers players and it seemed a case of when rather than if somebody would take matters into their own hands. When the call to arms came it was Tommy Doherty that answered. Having already shoved a Portmany player in the face off the ball he was felled himself and decided that rather than shake his opponent by the hand that he would shake him by the throat instead! Players from both sides piled in for the giving and receiving of handbags.

Doherty had won the thousand or so Rangers fans over in an instant. He had already shown that he could use the ball and now he showed that he could act as the midfield enforcer we have been looking for.

Shimmin had a goal ruled out for something or other, there really was no sure way to tell with this ref, after a Rowlands corner. Then as the game moved toward half time Rangers made it three with the pick of the evenings goals from Marc Bircham.

Cook launched a jinking assault on the Portmany right back and breezed past him as he had dine every time he had gone at him. His cut back found Bircham in acres of space and he placed a curling shot high and wide of the keeper and into the top corner. Signs of any resistance from Portmany were scarce but following the third they became non-existent.

Shortly before the break Doherty’s evening was cut short when the referee asked for him to be substituted. Chasing a ball into the Portmany back four he went over the ball and committed a horrendous foul on their centre back. Cue melee! Once again players from both sides, including some of the subs, waded in and The Doc was pulled away by the ref and escorted to the touchline. Marcus Bean replaced him and soon after the half time whistle was sounded.

Wholesale changes were made with the entire team being subbed. Bignot was already on after injury to the trialist and Bean after Doherty’s enforced change. Cole, Evatt, Santos, Brown, Ainsworth, another trialist in Adam Chambers, Miller, Moore and Gallen came on and as was to be expected, it took them a while to adjust to the pitch. It didn’t take too long before the next set of R’s players were getting involved after yet more Portmany niggling. This time Gallen seemed to be on the end of an elbow round the back of the head as he waited for a freekick to be delivered into the box.

The fourth goal was not long in coming and Ainsworth neatly tucked it away. He had found himself in the middle of the pitch just outside the box when the ball fell to him. He turned away from his man before striking the ball left footed into the corner. It was no less than his all action display had deserved.

The fifth when it arrived was a scrappy effort following a freekick that Portmany failed to deal with adequately. The ball dropped in the middle of the box to Moore who saw his first effort blocked but he was alive enough to poke home the rebound. The game was starting to peter out now as Portmany all but gave up the ghost. There was still time for their snidey 14 to piss off all and sundry though by kicking the ball away twice as Ainsworth tried to get on a freekick. It had been he that started most if the incidents with Doherty in the first half as he struggled to control his fiery Latino temper.

Late in the game Shimmin reappeared to give Bignot some rest but there was very little else to mention after that. This was a decent work out but nothing more. It will have served to blow away some of the summer cobwebs but I am not sure that Olly will have learned a great deal. The fact that the surface was something that a green grocer might have outside his shop didn’t help matters, nor did the fact that the ref failed to give any protection to the Rangers players whatsoever. He could have clamped down early on but he didn’t and players felt the need to take their own retribution against some pretty cynical stuff from the Spaniards. Mind you, it could have been worse for Portmany had we been awarded any if the three blatant first half penalties that were inexplicably ignored.

From what we saw of the new boys we can safely say that Doherty was the pick of the bunch despite his early exit from the game. He was combative and spiky but showed that he could also play. Shimmin and Hislop both looked solid, Sturridge though didn’t have the best night as his control let him down time and again. In the second half Evatt had little to do and More showed some glimpses of his pace and did enough to suggest tat with some nurturing he could turn into a real asset. Trialist wise, the centre back looked decent enough, calm on the ball and strong in the air before an ankle knock forced him off. Chambers brought some pace to the middle of the park and is certainly worth another couple of games.

On to Coventry or Huddersfield on Thursday night now in the final for the jug eared Copa Ibiza, lets hope that this game passes without the match exploding like this one did on so many occasions.

simon@qprnet.com