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Varc's Ex Files
Season 3, File 1

I'm back to remind you of some of the dross and the sad cases of under achievement we have come to love and hate by letting you know how low they have stooped.

 

I’ll bet as we enter the new season most of you have been sitting on your, luxury, reclining, spacious Loftus Road armchairs, thinking, “thank god we can forget about some of the rubbish we have been served over the past few years now we have returned to Division One” (or whatever it is).

Ha-ha! Think again! I’m back to remind you of some of the dross and the sad cases of under achievement we have come to love and hate by letting you know how low they have stooped. I may also remind you of a few good memories as some blasts from the past show they may just have found their level.

And why not start with some of those who are out to return to the top, now that their playing days have passed. Those who just can’t keep away and finally end up in management. Ernie Howe is still at Basingstoke (although now without Craig McAllister who in the end left on a free instead of a big money transfer to us) and Paul Parker is embarking on his second season at Welling United.

Mark Dennis is making less marks these days at Eastleigh in the Ryman League. His team have managed 1 win in 7. The less charitable would probably suggest it may be down to his insistence on playing Christer Warren. Although, to be fair, he is actually playing quite well at that level. In the division below Mark’s old club Fleet Town have kept up the tradition by installing Andy Sinton as the new player coach. Without doubt, this will be one to watch, as surely if you had to choose an ex player to succeed in management, you would give Sinton a shot?

And now another face has appeared. Terry Fenwick has taken the post at Ashford Town in Kent. They are propping up Ryman division one and bowed out of the FA Cup this week to AFC Wimbledon, and the idea is that he can turn things around. I reckon Northampton Town fans might have an opinion on that!

And so to the players. Yet again, the end of season merry go round has been taking on fare paying passengers of the Rangers variety. Two of the newest clashed on bank holiday Monday. At one point you would have probably expected them to end up at opposite extremes of the football pyramid, but when St Albans City lost at home to Lewes, it was fumblemeister Ade Bankole whose team came out best. Lewes won 3-2, despite St Albans taking the lead from a cross by Ben Walshe. Yes, young Walshie, who many thought might find a league club to go to, has to ply his trade in the Nationwide Conference South now. Ben was involved at both ends on Saturday, but this time his crosses helped his new side to their first win of the season, beating Carshalton 3-1. Incidentally, Lewes are performing well at the top of the table, due mainly to goals coming from ex Fulham boy Luke Cornwall.

Still in the Conference South, one team is causing more than a little fuss with its spending policy. It would appear that Hornchurch have become the “Chelsea” of the non league. Rumoured to have an outrageous wage structure of over £1.2 million they are being accused of trying to buy their way to non league success. This week, they spent £15,000 on 24 year old Wayne Purser from Leyton Orient. Those with sharp memories will remember him as a starlet of our youth academy. Bizarrely he joins fat Caskey, star of Bristol City’s latest crap attempt at promotion from Division Two.

Down at Margate, one of Ben Walshe’s ex colleagues has moved from Gravesend and Northfleet. Patrick Gradley, was another highly respected prospect at QPR that just never made it and is hoping to make an impression. And, to further compound the agony of our rubbish reserves, Alistair Heselton has found himself at Bishops Stortford. Stortford is turning into a graveyard for our youth team stars who never made it! Alistair will find himself in the company of Steve Parmenter and Mark Graham. The latter seems settled there and for once has not followed his brother Richard around the non league pyramid. Richard now at Barnet, will be hoping for some success this season, alongside Danny Maddix as the Bees look to push for a return to the Football League. Barnet have a minor cash windfall at their disposal too, after recently selling Chris Plummer to Peterborough for £30,000. Hopefully, Chris will now embark on a successful professional career with his injury woes behind him.

At the opposite end of the pyramid one familiar face is Michael Meaker. He is now with Gladwish Land Sales Hellenic League side Henley Town, and still can’t stop scoring. He scored a hat trick last weekend as Henley put 8 past Pegasus Juniors!

Finally to finish off the latest file, I report on a couple of players whose careers I should be reporting on as finished! Bradley Allen is journeying around the Ryman, most recently stopping at Billericay, and Keith Rowland has very nearly left the country. We almost got rid of him as he’s been signed by Dublin City, but in the strangest deal of the year, he has opted to commute to Ireland for league matches from his home in the south east, and a deal has been struck with Dagenham and Redbridge to let him train there all week! Give it up Keith!

There’s plenty more players to report on so another ex file will be coming soon, but if you spot someone in your neck of the woods banging in the goals and he is the spitting image of a crap ex Ranger, feel free to let me know!

varc@qprnet.com