Rouge Male contemplates the journey to ‘turning the corner’.
Every time we see Mick Harford mumbling the words ‘I don’t know how long I’ll be picking the team’ post match, whilst quite clearly his mind is chanting ‘kill, kill, kill’, we add another mile on what might be the longest bend in the history of ‘corners to be turned’.
The glorious oneniller thriller against Norwich has now been backed up by a ‘gudpoint’ against those other denizens of the east coast marshes, Ipswich. Better still we didn’t let fellow strugglers Preston steal a lead on us. Still bottom, but in times like these you take what you can get.
Currently we are assuming that Mick Harford is perpetually on the cusp of being relieved of his duties, but despite the many and varied rumours, shortlists and informed inside tips, we don’t appear to be close to a new man at the helm.
What if Harford remains through Christmas, will we be forced to rely on other managers being afraid of upsetting the ‘legendary hard-man’? Will his gambit of employing a slow-motion left back continue to distract the cream of the championship? And will he ever smile?
I’m convinced that while most of us like to deploy hundreds of facial muscles, Harford has one, which works his bottom lip in the same way Gerry Anderson got the Thunderbirds to talk, the rest of his face has calcified with the ousted muscles redirected to the space between his ears, thus rendering any articulated wisdom unfathomable. Sort of a one-man Mount Rushmore, oh-oh now I’m picturing Cary Grant hamming it up on his forehead! Maybe we are going to have to get used to ol’ stoneface?
Not since the Honeymonster was seen hugging Gerry Francis (two ridiculous figures in one Ad!) has Loftus Road seen Heat photographers attending matches, it would appear that as long as you can get whisked in and out without suffering the vagaries of the tube or walking through the leafy estates, we are the de-rigueur ticket!
There was a time when Manager difficulties meant the cameras scanning the crowds for likely replacements, if this is still the case then the likes of Warnock and Ollie are going to have to really up their game if their post match rants are going to make an impact. Imagine having to compete with Naomi Campbell chucking a phone at Geoff Shreeves and offering out Garth Crooks for suggesting that Chris Barker was less mobile than Simon Barker (now!).
Were they really there at all? Well obviously, yes. Sky’s deep pockets don’t run to cgi supermodels, though they could save money by using any old pub pundit to replace the pointless Gary Birtles. But why were they there, all dolled up in their chic little R’s scarves? Could it be that the cameras were there?
It would seem that our next manager will be Italian…any Italian, and most have been mentioned on the boards although I was interested by the news that John Collins had been sounded out (I know he’s supposed to have turned us down, but go with me on this one). He strikes me as ideal, he’s done a good job in a fairly similar league, he’s worked under financial constraints and must be looking for a career progressing move, money to spend in the Championship must have some appeal wherever we are.
Ideally we must look for the next Aidy Boothroyd, someone whose spent a while coaching, has ambition and is still relatively young. It’s entirely possible that may just leave Aidy Boothroyd and I can’t see that happening, but I’ve provided the blueprint, it’s for Gianni Paladini to finish the job.
Whoever is in charge, you’ve gotta love Big Flav, his was a Man of the Match performance against Norwich. Like Nero wondering if he could smell burning and trying to remember where his violin was, Flav’s imperious dismissal of the hapless referee was genuinely inspiring. I’m looking forward to seeing more of him. I’ve never seen a man look so monied before. He doesn’t wear it obviously, there’s no bojangles about him, and it’s a quiet casual wealth, a circumspect power that says ‘I could buy you, or have you killed but I’d rather eat’.
The last three results and to a certain extent the performances give me a little confidence that even if we don’t appoint straight away we’ll be ok, but I wouldn’t want to still be on this corner in March!
