Conversations with God
QPR: Hello God. Got a bit of a crisis, can you help?
God: yeah sure, I’m God; should be no problem, what can I do for you?
QPR: We have this loan… its costing us an arm and a leg, but we don’t know how we can pay it off.
God: Hokey dokey, who’s it with?
QPR: ABC
God: Good luck with that – see you later…
I should point out I made up this conversation. I also know that no similar conversations involving any other sporting team are also made up. How do I know? Because God doesn’t like sports. FACT.
It never ceases to amaze me how many sportsmen and women thank god for their abilities by crossing themselves before then enter their chosen arena. How many times do you see team mates looking to the skies as a penalty shootout takes place as if the big guy is gonna help them. Have they not notices that the other folk are doing it as well? If it worked, Italy would be world champions at everything (including snooker which they don’t play).
God obviously hates cricket, otherwise he would have waited 5 minutes before letting it rain at the end of the first test match and he would have let England win the toss for the second (he surely supports England out of the two teams, after all the other lot don’t believe he exists).
I say this because I’m beginning to fear that we will need some sort of divine intervention at Loftus Road. Just when the optimism was rising, more and more rumours of more and more crises get published in the media. Since God doesn’t care, who should we turn to? Can we make a pact with the bad boy downstairs? If so does anyone have a spare soul hanging about the place. We might attract an American Evangelicalist or a Russian Orthodox representative, but these are still on earth spokespersons for the one we know doesn’t give a rat’s arse.
All I want is a sign…
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