A treatise on the socio-political ramifications of people in the public eye and the football teams they purport to support! (or…Michael Nyman…you’re a ******, you’re a ******!)
Every so often a topic hit’s the message board will all the newsworthiness of a Varc missive on how we’re all doomed. ‘Guess who supports the R’s’, followed by a spurious report about some near-celeb sporting a hooped top. This could mean that they’re one of us or in the area, committing a few burglaries. We all get excited and then trot out a list of possible celebrity fans…then we go back to moaning about Paladini.
Nothing wrong with anyone supporting the R’s, albeit no kind of positive indicator or mental stability, and it’s certainly no longer the natural home of the glory hunter. There’s no chance of Michael Jackson or Sly Stallone being paraded at Loftus Rd, though the latter proved a formidable stopper in Escape to Victory!
There are those who we can safely say are time served, bona-fide brethren of our club, Mick Jones is the only legendary musician I’ve witnessed going through the sale bin at the club shop, Robert Elms love him or loathe him wears his colours forcefully. While I’m sure Andrew Ridgely getting punched on our terraces was merely a cover up for a nose-job, I’ve seen that Wham video with him poncing around in an R’s kit enough to believe he’s sincere and as much as I despair every time he’s mentioned, Pete Doherty putting Kate Moss in a top on the inside sleeve of his last album just made me think…yep! Spot on.
I can’t help but wonder about how we react to the ‘news’ that another celeb has been outed as a Rangers supporter. I suppose it depends on who it is. I’ve seen no evidence to suggest that Bill Bailey is a QPR fan, yet it’s taken as gospel. Wendy James of fifteen-minute famer’s Transvision Vamp, maybe, but Vanessa Redgrave…an R, this one is too far fetched. Outspoken on everything from Vietnam to the minimum wage, yet I didn’t see her on the barricades during the Fulham and Wimbledon merger debates!
Once a person in the public eye is confirmed it changes our perception of them. Alex Tudor will always be a talented young man who never really reached his potential…but he’s one of us. Ashley Giles, the erstwhile King of Spain is mocked as the ‘wheelie bin’ in most quarters and would be treated with indifference in this household, were it not for his allegiance. Ashley has had a lot to deal with recently, I can only guess how hard it’s been for him and his family, but I share this one heartache with him and I understand his pain.
So why save my vitriol for Michael Nyman? The composer of many film scores and countless minimalist classical pieces produced a piece of work entitled ‘the final score’. Part of a larger piece; it was inspired by the QPR team of the seventies and Stan Bowles in particular. In a film inspired by the music and the publicity that followed, Nyman positively gushed at the memories leaving us in no doubt as to where he was, shoulder to shoulder with the Superhoops.
Nyman, however, seems very aware of his image, take a look at his website, fashionably donning mock-eighteenth century glasses he looks every inch the avant-garde musician. So when a broadsheet asked for a colour piece a few years ago, something about his love of football, what do you think he came up with? Gerry Francis’ goal of the season, Stan dropping his shorts, 1967, 1976 or 4-1 at Old Trafford?
No, he chose to write about how much he enjoyed watching Spurs with his sons! He was almost reduced to a puddle by the enthralling spectacle! Now I’m not a father, and I’d like to think I’d give any child of mine a choice (whilst nudging them gently, obviously) and if they chose Spurs I’d like to think I’d indulge them in their choice…but to celebrate it and the experience of watching them…not possible.
You see, we’re no longer the sexy choice of the chattering classes, for someone like Nyman to go on about Loftus Road at a Knightsbridge cocktail party would elicit blank looks…mention ‘Tottingham’ and they’re off and running, he doubtless does a very good Martin Jol impression…every other Spurs fan I’ve ever met does.
This has happened before, Phil Collins was often touted as an R, but with his hair went his soul and by the start of the eighties he was mouthing off about Gazza and Linaker like the good ol’ Lilywhite he wasn’t…good riddance!
A few weeks ago, Nyman was mentioned again as an R’s supporter, lazy journalism or has something lured him back…the poetry in (falling) motion that is Marc Nygaard, the sanguine elegance of Steve Lomas, the stout heart and sound mind of Zesh Rehman…you can see why he’d give up White Hart Lane.
Maybe he’s just been tempted by the sheer weight of celebrity rumoured to be holding Queen’s Park Rangers close to their heart. Try googling Celebrity-Fans-QPR and see what you get, Nick Cave, Robert Smith of the Cure, Leslie Thomas (I suspect this is true given the amount of mentions we get on ‘The Last Detective’), Jamie Oliver, Rat Scabies, Ade Edmondson, Graham Parker (would the punk movement have foundered completely if we’d carried off the title in 76?), Sir George Young, Ralf Little (that has to be arse!), Matthew Kelly, Henry Kelly, The Pasadenas (I’m not making this up), David Cassidy, Bruce Welch of the Shadows and Martin Clunes!
But there’s one name that came up, one name that if it were true would make everything all right. If Betty Boo is a QPR fan then I know I’m on a righteous path…Altogether now…
…And boy, I really miss you
and all I wanna do is kiss you
I’ve used up all my tissues
’cause there’s more serious of issues…
What does she mean?
Rogue Male.
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